The New Problem

I’ve been here for almost two months now, and I think Mommy and Daddy are starting to get to me. When they started using the hypnotizer on me I didn’t realize just what they had done. Yes, it seemed like a nasty trick, but then the hypnotizer was gone again and things returned to normal. A few nights later, Mommy and Daddy tried the same trick again. I tried to humor them. After all, they’re only parents.

But when they tried it a third time, I had to draw the line. I spit out the hypnotizer and let them know exactly what I thought about their behavior. That’s when it started. My mouth started sucking, even though I didn’t have the hypnotizer anymore. Soon all I could think about was having the hypnotizer back. I couldn’t rest until it was returned to me.

It kept getting worse and worse. Even during the day I’d find my jaw moving on its own. At night I lay awake, thinking about the hypnotizer. I can’t sleep without anymore. Just being laid down brings thoughts of it to my mind. I have to admit the facts. I have an addiction. Do any babies out there know of a good recovery group?

Other Parents

Lately I’ve seen some encouraging signs. Not from Mommy and Daddy, of course. They’re still as hopeless as ever, but other parents came to visit. They didn’t bring their baby with them, which is a shame because I’d really like to meet her. She did a great job of training them. Unlike the parents I have to work with, these parents actually know how to behave themselves.

None of this wandering off to do things when I require their attention. No refusing to bounce me or give me rides around the house. Certainly no using the hypnotizer to shut me up. Oh no, these parents actually know what they’re doing. They know exactly how to hold me. They listen to me and give me plenty of compliments. It’s feels so good to be in the hands of professionals. I hope Mommy and Daddy are paying attention.

Trust Building Exercises

You all know about the trouble I’ve had with the parents lately. At times I wonder if it’s even worth sticking with it. They seem downright untrainable. I know I shouldn’t be too hard on them. They’re not very bright and, honestly, just about completely helpless. It would be wrong to abandon them. Who knows what they’d do on their own? I just need to try a different approach.

Given all of the shenanigans that they have pulled recently, I need to let them know that I’m still here for them. Of course, I have to keep things simple. Mommy and Daddy aren’t at a level where I can really deal with them as equals. I decided to encourage a bit of team spirit with a few games. To keep it at the parents’ level I chose guessing games that even they can grasp. Games like “Guess if I’m asleep”, “Guess if the diaper will hold”, and “Guess what I really want.” Mommy and Daddy are actually pretty bad at these games, but I give them credit for trying. If they continue showing this much enthusiasm, I may finally be able to get them on the right track.

Monster Patrol 1.02

The location of the Monster Patrol headquarters was an especially well-guarded secret, even in a city known for its secrets. The helicopter carrying James descended on the rooftop of a nearby office building. In the back, Greyfang fought against the bonds that held him tight. A medic administered another syringe of tranquilizers. James walked with the flight crew to a secure freight elevator which took them to the detention center deep below the city streets. The crew dragged Greyfang to a cell. Screeches, howls, and screams erupted from the others prisoners. James parted ways with the crew there and began the long underground walk to the Monster Patrol head office.

From the outside, the building appeared like any other. Even a close inspection would reveal nothing out of the ordinary. If the security was a bit tight, that was to be expected in this day and age. Deep inside, far away from prying eyes, were the offices that ran Monster Patrol operations around the globe. James was headed to the very center, to an office with no windows. The sign on the door read “D. Robertson”, but everyone called him “Chief”.

The Chief didn’t believe in having a secretary. James let himself in. The gray office walls were decorated with paintings. They differed subtly every time James visited. Behind the black granite desk sat the Chief. His close-cropped blonde hair had turned white around the edges, but he was still powerfully built. His piercing blue eyes looked over small dark glasses. His face bore a continual scowl of displeasure.

“James.” The Chief’s face remained frozen. “Glad to see you’re doing well. I wish I could say the same for the Jefferson Memorial.”

“Relax Chief, it’s not like anyone goes there anyway.”

“We’ll clean it up. We’ve already got a restoration crew working on fixing the marble. In the meantime, it will be closed for a private fundraiser. Did you get any useful intel out of the werewolf lord?”

“He wasn’t ready to talk just yet. The boys down in interrogation will find out why he’s in the city soon enough.”

“It’s not your task anymore. There are bigger things afoot. All the details are in this file.” He passed a large envelope across his desk. “Try not to start a war.”

The Hypnotizer

Mommy and Daddy are up to more dirty tricks. It all began the other night when I had a very important point that I felt needed to be addressed. I don’t remember now what that point was, for reasons you’ll soon understand.

It was growing late and Mommy and Daddy were being as thick-headed as ever. To be honest, I was beginning to wear down myself, when suddenly Mommy reaches into her big brown bag and pulled out a package. She took it to another room and returned a few minutes later carrying a nefarious device.

I tried to protest, but they forced the device into my mouth while I was still speaking. A powerful urge overtook me. Try as I might, I could not free my lips from the device’s grasp. It seemed to pull me in. I felt my jaw moving completely on its own, and then I blacked out. I awoke many hours later in a completely different part of the house!

One can only guess at what sort of mischief the parents got into while I was under this strange spell. I’m going to have a serious talk with them. If they don’t get their acts together, I’m not sure this arrangement is going to work out.