Getting the Parents in Shape

I have made a New Year’s resolution for the parents. They are going to improve their physical fitness. I worry about their health. I want them to live long enough to be able to appreciate me.

I’ve devised a two-pronged approach to address their needs. The first prong is to work on their muscle mass. As every baby knows, muscle is essential to avoid premature aging, and also offers continual metabolic benefits. Fortunately, encourage weightlifting in the parents has turned out to be easier than I expected. I simply wait until they enter the room and then demand that they pick me up. This is usually good for a few minutes of sustained weight lifting, and I plan to gain weight as quickly as possible to aid their muscle growth.

Introducing aerobic activities into their schedule at first appeared to be a challenge. After all, if I’m making them move around, they might expect the same from me, and we can’t be encouraging that. Eventually, though, I realized that I could actually integrate the aerobic benefits right into the weightlifting. The key is to grab some small trinket (a toy, a bib, or anything will do) and take it with me when I am lifted. I can then toss that object, and whine for it until the parents go and fetch it for me. I repeat this process over and over, ensuring that the parents’ meet their daily activity requirements.

The parents are so lucky they have me around to take care of these things for them. I hope they realize it.