I have put up many frustrations from the parents. I’ve come to accept it as my lot in life, and try not to be too bothered by it. But when other babies start making accusations about me, I feel I must defend my honor.

For those who haven’t heard these patently false allegations, I apologize for bringing these dreadful attacks to your attention. I encourage you to stop reading right now and continue with your day as though nothing had happened.

If you are still reading then I presume that you have heard these slanderous accusations and have come to me seeking the truth, which I am only too happy to provide. Let’s cut right to the chase. I know there have been some whispers that I am not a baby, but am instead (please pardon my language) a “toddler”. I assure you nothing could be further from the truth.

While it’s true that I may be a bit bigger than some of the babies these days, nothing has changed. I may be able to walk and use the parents’ language, but I am still fully committed to the mission of turning these rather miserable parents into properly grand parents. Do not listen to the rumors, my fellow babies.

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