The parents are trying to kill me. It all started a few days ago. I was just minding my own business when Mommy pulled out a piece of paper and started wiping my nose. Now, I admit, my nose was feeling a bit funny, so I let her do it. Before I know it, she’s pulling out this “medicine” stuff. “It’ll make you feel better,” she said.

Surprisingly, it tasted really good, which should have been my first warning sign. I never get anything that tastes really good without begging for it. It was okay at first, but the next morning my throat started to hurt really bad. I still didn’t see the connection, even when Mommy insisted that I take more “medicine”. Now my throat and my nose are hurting even more. My tummy doesn’t feel good, and I can barely eat anything. It’s official: The parents have poisoned me. Farewell to all of my loyal readers. Remember me fondly.

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