The strategy of saying “No” to the parents has hit a snag. You see, it turns out that they apparently don’t understand their own language. I tell them “No” and they just ignore me and insist that I do what they said anyhow. Sometimes, and I know this will come as a shock to many of you, they even physically force me to comply. It became obvious that I needed to rethink my strategy.

I am not going to lose this battle. If I can’t overcome them directly, I’ll wear them down slowly until they beg for mercy. At first I couldn’t understand their defiance, but then I realized the truth: All of these so called “naps” and “bedtimes” that they say are for my own benefit are actually when they plot against me! I cannot allow this to continue any longer. I will never take another nap. I will refuse their bedtimes. If necessary, I will even start screaming in the middle of the night, just to make sure they remember who is in charge here.

Your move, parents.