Citizens, I know you are all quite anxious to begin your enjoyment of this most holy and blessed week of Nate month, but I feel that the events of last year must be addressed. While the idea to dress a manatee in a cape and fly him around the city using a construction crane was certainly in the spirit of Nate month, the clean-up costs were quite substantial. Also, there has been a suggestion that parts of the activity may have violated workplace safety regulations. While I would never urge restraint during such a festive occasion, I must ask you to consider whether any parts of your celebration could violate local ordinances, and, if so, to delay those activities until the last day of Nate month to avoid interfering with official proceedings. Thank you for your attention.

Last week I read a very interesting article. I know you probably don't have the time or inclination to read it, so here's a quick summary: A young man from Denver, Colorado was arrested and jailed for armed robbery. After ten years in prison, he comes home a changed man. He starts a family, finds a good job, and becomes involved in his community. After five years of freedom, he is told that his release was a mistake, and he is re-arrested and carried back to prison, where he is to remain for at least the next forty years.

The article raises many interesting questions for me. It highlights the dangers of overly broad applications of existing laws. It shows how handing out punishment without discretion can be good politics but cause terrible pain. It begs the question of whether harsh sentencing actually creates worse criminals. Would it be better to give shorter sentences, or at least early parole possibilities to younger offenders, so that they can have the chance to use their prison time to prepare for a better life? Could showing grace to criminals cause some of them to change their ways? However, one thing has really haunted me.

At the very end of the article the imprisoned man is being interviewed at the jail. He says that the reason why he's back in prison is because he failed God while on the outside. He gives a few examples, which include coaching a soccer team some Sundays instead of attending church services, not praying often enough, and not studying the Bible regularly. I feel for him. For most of my life I viewed every setback as a sign that I was failing God in some way. It was easy enough, whenever things went wrong in my life, to find an instance of my own moral failings in the not-so-distant past.

Over the past few years, though, I've begun to question that viewpoint. It's not that I think sin doesn't matter. Rather, I think sin is its own punishment. I hope that someone in that prison can tell this man that cutting him off from his family and community is not God's method of encouraging greater faithfulness. The fact is that we live in a broken and decaying world, filled with the fruit of mankind's evil. Bad things happen to the faithful. Sometimes, it seems like they suffer more.

If suffering from evil deepen our relationship with the one who rescued us, that is a wonderful thing, but we shouldn't think that was the intention. We have an enemy who wants to destroy us, mind, body, and soul, and we have a savior who wants to restore his entire creation. Sometimes we make progress toward that goal, and manifest his kingdom on earth. Other times the world attacks and destroys something beautiful. Either way, we press on, not because we fear God's whip on our backs, but because we long for the day when all the world will see him face to face.

A man decided that he would make the best garden there had ever been. He bought a beautiful plot of land on the top a mountain, with picturesque views in every direction. He brought in truckloads of the finest black mulch and laid it out in perfectly straight rows. He gathered the most expensive seeds he could find, and carefully hand-painted intricate designs on each of the shells. He set each seed on its own white pedestal with a bronze nameplate and a large glossy picture of the fruit it could grow. Finally, he built walls and a ceiling over his garden to keep it safe from the weather. It was an amazing thing to behold, and he spent many hours admiring it.

The man visited his perfect garden every day, observing his seeds carefully. If he noticed any seed starting to crack, he would throw it out and replace it with another. No imperfection was allowed in his garden.  As the weeks passed, the thrill of his new garden began to wear off, and his visits became less frequent. They became weekly, then monthly, and eventually yearly, though at each visit he was sure to rid his garden of any seeds that had cracked or had odd green or brown things growing on them.

One night a terrific storm rocked the mountain. The wind shook the walls of the garden and the frame creaked. A massive gust ripped the roof from its place and sent it spiraling into the valley. Pounding rain poured into the garden for the first time, turning the carefully planned rows of black mulch into a sea of mud. Winds whipped through the garden, knocking the beautifully painted seeds from their white pedestals. They sunk into the watery mess. The perfect garden was ruined.

After the storm had moved on, the sun rose over the remains of the perfect garden. As the weeks passed, green sprouts began to appear in the black soil. Eventually the man returned to see his perfect garden, but he found a shocking sight. The beautiful order he had spent so long creating was gone, and in its place, plants of every variety filled the damaged garden.

Balsamic vinaigrette salad dressing is just another name for Worchestershire sauce.

Jesus's death had shaken Peter to his core. He had believed Jesus was the Messiah. ((Luke 9:20)) Never had he believed in anything so strongly. When Jesus had been executed, it shattered his world. Then God had brought Jesus back to life, demolishing Peter's understanding of the long prophesied Messiah. In the forty days that followed, Jesus explained, yet again, the scriptures. ((Luke 24:44-45)) Now, freed from old preconceptions, Jesus's life, ministry, death, and resurrection finally made sense.

God's plan had not gone terribly wrong. It had all been laid out in plain view, for anyone with eyes to see. It was only their twisted souls that had made the scriptures difficult to understand. Yet despite their lack of understanding, God's plan has succeeded even when every human being had failed.

Now Peter did his best to explain these same things to his fellow Jews in the temple courts. ((Acts 2:23)) "My family," he called, "I am offering you nothing except what the prophets have already told us must take place. Yes, he was dead, but what is death to God? It cannot hold back his plans. Death is not his master. ((Acts 2:24)) Death answers to him. You have heard that Jesus is not dead. If you will listen, I will tell you why that must be true."

It was sometime in early 2012 when one of the teenagers we knew revealed his plan to host a murder mystery dinner. He had bought a used murder mystery kit for a dollar, and wanted to use it to raise money for an upcoming trip to the Dominican Republic.

"Those are horrible," I told him. Kelly, who had experienced boxed murder mysteries before, agreed. "Well, it's what I have," he told me. My annoying urge for excellence jumped into the conversation. "I'll write a real mystery for you."

I decided to write something that would draw an audience, generate some repeat performances, and maybe raise a few bucks for the trip. All murder mysteries need a victim, but I didn't want some nondescript character that no one would care about. I needed someone whose death would add to the drama. A quick search for names that garnered a lot of attention in the likely audience turned up a result, and thus I decided to plot the murder of Glenn Beck.

Writing the first draft of the script took only a few days. I had a couple of friends proofread it, then did a bit of rewriting based on their inputs. Since it was supposed to be for a murder mystery dinner, I wrote four acts, so that a meal could be served between scenes. By the end of the third scene, the audience would have all the information required to determine the identity of the killer, and (while eating their desserts) could fill out a card naming the person they believed to be the culprit.

I presented the script to our young friend, and he set out to line up actors from his circle of acquaintances. Sadly, that proved harder than he had imagined, and eventually he announced that the play was canceled. The Murder of Glenn Beck was covered up.

A year later one of the original actresses remembered my script and asked if she could perform it as the finale of her acting class. I was delighted to know the script might finally get a performance and lent it to her at once. Unfortunately, the playhouse vetoed its performance, not because of its controversial main character, but because it involved a murder. The Murder was covered up a second time.

Two more years have passed, and by now the play has become quite dated. Its references hearken back to a different age, but I still find some elements of it quite delightful. Rather than leave it to languish in my directory of past writings, I decided to dust it off and present it for your amusement. The truth of the Murder of Glenn Beck must be known.

Cast:

Reginald Winchester - Self proclaimed “World’s Greatest Detective”, he has an unflagging thirst for the truth and the ability to take any set-back in stride. The only element missing from his detective's toolkit is deductive ability. Occasionally adopts a fake British accent, especially when saying something he considers to be of great importance.

Caitlin Axelrod - Talk show host bumped by Glenn’s show. She is stable and methodical, a no-nonsense type, and her style has won her leagues of fans and enemies.

Justin Harding - Arms manufacturer supported by Glenn. A true professional in every sense, he is never out of control, and constantly on the lookout to expand his company or his influence.

Gary Lexington - Eager fan impersonating honored military veteran Dan Jacobs. Overwhelmed at the prospect of meeting Glenn Beck, he is in way over his head.

Tabitha Reed - Socialist who broke into Glenn’s compound. A true child of Reddit, she was raised in a conservative home, and sought the liberal elite as a form of rebellion in college. She has never looked back. She views her role as one of bringing freedom and transparency to the evils of the right wing.

Therese Fischer - Glenn’s faithful maid. She moved to the US from Austria as a teenager and still speaks with a noticeable Austrian accent. Seemingly simple, because that is what people expect her to be.

Jess Thomas - Glenn’s publisher, about to be dropped by Glenn. She is frazzled and overwhelmed, but trying to make the best of everything. She constantly has too many irons in the fire and worries that any misstep may ruin her future.

Officer Daniels - Police officer called to investigate the murder. Jaded at the world, but efficient and effective in most situations.

Setting:

Glenn Beck's home in Westlake, Texas. In particular, a lounge area in the house. It has, among other furniture, a large desk with a red phone, a chalkboard, a dresser with a lamp near the door, and at least six chairs spread out around the room. (The audience is seated around a table in the center of the room)

Act I: Gathering

Ms. Fischer: (starting offstage) You may wait here, gentlemen, until the other guests arrive. Mr. Beck will be along very soon.

Ms. Fischer, Reginald, and Mr. Harding enter the room.

Ms. Fischer: (to Reginald) Feel free to look around. Mr. Beck’s art collection is not to be missed.

Mr. Harding: That’s for sure. Glenn has wonderful tastes in portraits, especially the Revolutionary War portraits. Very stirring. I hope you will get a chance to check them out, Mr....

Reginald: Detective. Detective Winchester. (waits for recognition) Reginald Winchester, the World’s Greatest Living Detective. I’m sure you’ve heard of me.

Mr. Harding: Well, you’d think with a name like that I’d remember. A detective, eh? I guess I should consider my suspicions confirmed, then.

Reginald: Suspicions? Did something seem suspicious to you?

Mr. Harding: Nothing to get excited about, detective. I just mean that it looks like Glenn is up to one of his tricks. He had an odd gleam in his eyes when I saw him downstairs. That usually means he’s on the tail of some crazy idea. And your presence here would certainly seem to confirm that.

Reginald: Of course. (recovering his superiority) Yes, I noticed the same thing. I said to myself, there is a great mystery afoot, and Mr. Beck is depending upon my deductive skills to solve it. And his confidence is well placed, I should dare say.

Mr. Harding: In that case I look forward to a very interesting, and hopefully enlightening, evening.

Jess Thomas enters

Mr. Harding: Ahh, Jess. It’s so good to see you, again. Do you have the night off, or are you here on business?

Jess Thomas: A bit of both, actually. Officially, I'm only here because Mr. Beck invited me for dinner. Unofficially, I’m hoping to convince him to give me the updated manuscript for his new book. We’re on the verge of missing the scheduled release date.

Mr. Harding: You said the same thing the last time I saw you.

Jess Thomas: It was …

Now the moment had arrived, the time for Peter to explain to the waiting crowd what the God of their fathers had done. It was something that Peter himself was still struggling to grasp. God had done all that the ancient prophets had foretold, but in a way that no one had imagined. And that fulfillment was summed up in three words: "Jesus of Nazareth". ((Acts 2:22))

News traveled slowly in the ancient world, but there was little chance that those listening would not have known the name. The apostles reminded the crowd of the many miracles God had performed to confirm his selection of Jesus. ((Acts 2:22)) Even those who had only heard the criticisms from the Pharisees would know that strange signs had followed Jesus wherever he went. They also knew that, despite the many wonders he had performed, his split with the Temple had eventually led to his arrest, and no miracle had come to spare his life.

Peter himself could not forget that arrest either. He had been there, wanting to take a stand before the Sanhedrin and tell them that Jesus was a righteous man. ((Mark 14:13)) Instead, he hid in the courtyard and lied about who he was. ((Mark 14:66-72)) The blood of the Messiah hung heavy over all of them. Peter pulled no punches as he screamed into the temple, "You used sinners to carry out the dirty task of executing the one sent from God himself." ((Acts 2:23))

What is the sickness that inspires us to divide the world into Christian and non-Christian? Why do followers of Jesus think that hanging out with non-Christians is either backsliding or missions work? Why do we ask questions like "How do I love someone without condoning their lifestyle?"

Did Jesus want his followers to provide one more cultural division? Did he intend for us to literally and figuratively put up walls to keep out the world?

Why would I ask six questions in a row? Why does one of the questions quote another question? Is anyone still reading this?

I know Paul says that the message of the cross is an offense, but when I read the accounts of the apostles, the people offended were the powerful and the religious. A local radio station is running a series about how to share the gospel without ruining our relationships, as though somehow those two were related. It's only because we've spent so long believing that "sharing the gospel" is code for "preaching at people until they hate you" that we worry so much.

The world has enough people preaching at them from atop high horses. Maybe we should try sharing the gospel in a new way.

No foreign nation, no hacker, should be able to shut down our networks, steal our trade secrets or invade the privacy of American families, especially our kids.

— President Barack Obama's State of the Union Address