Posted on Thu, Sep 28 2017 in Miranda Rants

The life of a parent is short and hectic. It's not good for them. Being the benevolent person you all know me to be, I have taken it upon myself to address their lack of patience, and teach them this valuable life skill.

If I'm playing with my friends and Mommy says "It's time to go, Miranda," I see a learning opportunity. After all, does it really matter if we leave right this moment? Of course not, but Mommy doesn't understand that. She's too worried about silly things like food in the oven. That's where food is supposed to be, Mommy.

Or Daddy might tell me to put away my blocks. It's unhealthy to be concerned about these things all the time. After all, he's certainly not that concerned when I inform him that I need a toy from somewhere I can't reach. I think these teachable moments can really help them learn to use their time more wisely.

Of course, these parents never make things easy. You probably will find this shocking, but they have been known to try and do things themselves if I delay long enough. I'll be looking at my shirt, contemplating the design or seeing which holes my head will fit through, and Mommy, in a fit on impatience, will try to put the shirt on me. Naturally I can't allow this. Not only is it directly counter to the lesson I'm trying to teach, but the parents are hopelessly inept. I protest until Mommy backs down and takes some time to think about what she's done.

I know many of you will say that I'm just wasting my energy, but the way I see it, even if it doesn't work out with these parents it'll be good training for the next ones.