The Potty

Posted on Thu, May 17 2018 in Miranda Rants

Mommy and Daddy are up to their crazy schemes again. You'll never guess what they want me to do now, not in a million years. They have this silly bucket full of water called "The Potty" with its own little room. That's crazy, I know, but it gets worse. They want me (can I say this on the internet?) to pee and poop in it. I don't know which is more shocking: the concept itself or their audacity for suggesting it.

It's obvious what their game is. Those lazy parents are trying to get out of their chores. They think if they trick me into joining their little Potty cult then they won't have to change my diapers anymore.

They have even gone so far as to suggest that my friends already do this, and that they themselves use the Potty quite regularly. As though I would want to be more like them. I allow them to do whatever they want in their time off, but that hardly means I want to join them.

They even say that if I use the Potty then I'll be a "big girl". I'm not sure what they are implying, but I fail to see how peeing and pooping in a silly bucket will alter my size in any appreciable manner.

The parents simply can't understand that the idea does not appeal to a busy person like myself. I don't have time to stop and use the Potty every time I need to pee or poop. Not that they would understand such things, the lazy adults. Clearly I need to keep them busier.